2013 F30 BMW 316i 36

Buying a car based on the allure of its badge isn't a new thing. After all, the adage "you are what you drive" holds true, especially in these parts of the woods. Association is key – there's really nothing wrong with being chuffed by your ride, but it helps that everyone thinks so, or thinks highly of you by your – clever – choice of wheels, yes?

This household hasn't been immune to the workings of such a spell, as the other half will (happily, or unhappily, depends on how the subject is broached) attest to. Said lady has cycled through two BMW 3-Series, both entry-level models from two different generations, from new, the purchases being made under the premise of "emotional appeal." She didn't even test drive the second one before signing for it.

Nothing wrong with that, even if the cars themselves weren't quite up to living up to the 'Ultimate Driving Machine' or 'Sheer Driving Pleasure' tags proudly emblazoned on the licence plate holders. We'll take just one of them as an example – the E46 318i, all 118 hp and 180 Nm of it bursting out from its effervescent M43B19 1.9 litre mill. Worked alright, but hardly anywhere near being the finest 3er of that era. I had an affectionate name for it. I called it "The Slug."

Still, it got her to where she needed to be, and she reveled in the "emotional appeal," so I couldn't argue with it (or the other 3er) since pressed all the right buttons for her. The same holds true for everyone who bought an entry-level 3er before the adoption of turbocharging attempted to offset snail-like behaviour – it's what you believe in that matters.

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